This post is supposed to be a talk about “who I am and why I’m here”, something that really makes more sense for an initial blog rather than one that’s been around a while. At the same time, I thought it couldn’t hurt to reflect. I did just do that a few days ago for 2015 after all.
When I first started this blog, I didn’t really have a plan in mind. I only knew that if I didn’t have a place to keep track of the stories that I wanted to publish, I was going to forget one. Wouldn’t that be embarrassing for a brand new author? I went back and looked over my first three blog posts, almost six years old now.
I had never worked on a blog before. The most I had previously was a professional school site that had links to my resume and whatnot. I was super excited that my first short story had been picked up (omg, someone wanted to pay for my writing?), but every time I opened a new blog post, my mind went blank on what to say. I’ve gotten (somewhat) better about it over the years, but it still doesn’t take much for my brain to close up. Stories I can come up with, but blog posts? That’s an entirely different beast.
So why do it? Why do I put these kinds of posts up in public? Well that’s a complex answer. It is, of course, a place to keep track of my stories, but I could have just as easily done that in a spreadsheet. I could have just made a static site like I had before. No, I think the reason I came to blogging and why I still blog is because I love seeing people’s reactions. It’s similar to the happy feeling you get when your tweet gets hearted on Twitter or a post gets liked on Facebook. I know it’s only temporary and it’s just a handful of bytes that don’t mean much in the bigger scheme, but it sure does make me feel good.
We authors are always scribbling our ideas, our dreams, and our nightmares down on paper. We work on them when others are enjoying their favorite television series or relaxing on a game. We work on them while putting aside time with friends and family. We work on them despite drama at work and stressful traffic and a pile of dishes in the sink. Then we slide our works out into the light of day, and most of the time we don’t hear anything back. It takes a lot of scribbling before we hear anything, which means that much of the motivation has to come from the inside. Through blogging and letting people know about the process, the research, the heartache, the excitement, the fulfillment, I want to share how these stories get made. I want to share what it’s like for me, and maybe hear about what reading them felt like for others. I want to be able to look back on the hike up this steep hill and see all the people who have been changed by mere words.
I know my blog is just a small little cranny in the corner of the interwebs, but I like to think I keep it pretty cozy here. I see the same folks visiting, liking my posts, and commenting, and it makes me feel like I’m not alone scribbling away in the dark. It makes me feel like I’m surrounded by friends and encouragement. Maybe that sounds simplistic and optimistic, but even though I write horror stories, I’m actually a pretty optimistic person. I want to share the stories in my head (because it can be pretty crowded in there).
That’s why I blog.